I had an entry up earlier today but after rereading it a few times I just realized that I was only acting on the defensive and I probably shouldn't of displayed a response to a guestbook entry in my diary, and so I removed it.
I should of been more mature and emailed the person I had the issue with instead of just letting them have it in public view. Well I wasn't, and I didn't and I apologize for that but sometimes you do things based on emotional reaction and not maturity.
So with that said, I'm just going to drop the issue. I haven't sent an email and I probabaly won't. I don't want to open up the can of worms when frankly I feel I got my feelings off my chest and I realize that hey, people can think what they want, what I know to be truth in myself is what matters.
On to happier things like my morning exercise. I sort of glossed over that but it really did make me feel sooo great. I knew that I had to get on the bandwagon again and start working out. There isn't an excuse anymore as to not be doing it. The house is pretty much unpacked except for the bedroom and even then, it is just mainly laundry that needs washing.
I have noticed that I'm just walking around the house and stopping to stretch all the time. My muscles are thanking me, and I hope they will be thanking me with a nice burn of soreness tomorrow. I want to know that I worked them out hard today.
I knew that another reason why I wanted to start working out is the sheer feeling of thinness that you feel when you are done. You may not feel perfectly thin but you feel in better shape. I want to have that feeling come Sunday. The hunk's birthday is bringing his old and close friends over to the house and one couple whom we are close to have not seen me since I started this journey. I can't wait for them to see me!
I wonder if they will notice? I'm sure they will...but you know that little voice inside your head that just says, "You're still fat, what would they notice? They might not notice a huge difference, I mean 60 lbs. is just a small drop in the bucket compared to what you still have to loose."
Don't you hate that voice? I need to find a way to shut my internal dialogue off or find a way to plug my ears and go "la la la la I can't hear you!" in my head.
I'm off to finish watching Spiderman. The kidlet fell asleep on the floor. He's been falling asleep sometime during the day/early evening and then wanting to stay up later. I don't know how I can get him out of this habit. He's a monster when I try and keep him awake. He's crabby if he isn't falling asleep and being left alone to do so, and he's super crabby if I'm trying to wake him up as he's dozing off. He hasn't been sleeping in much either the last few days which makes him about ready for a nap in the afternoon. Oh well, I'll see how this pans out. His sleeping schedule changes so much that I'll wait and see.
5:44 p.m. - 01-17-03
Recent entries:
New Playground - 03-14-09
- - 02-25-05
Parting is such sweet sorrow....but not just yet. - 02-23-05
I'm still here.... - 02-18-05
A loss to much to bear - 02-09-05
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